Every man answers to three IOs. Only one of them never transfers out.
A book drawn from real life: thirty-four years in uniform, and a lifetime of watching the officer who assesses you at home.
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The IO in Uniform
The Permanent IO
Your wife. She assesses not your work but the man, all the time, every millisecond, as if you were placed under a microscope that never switches off. No annual cycle, no posting order. After marriage, this IO does not change, and her report, never written down, is the one that runs your actual life.
The Final IO
What's an IO? In the Indian Armed Forces, the Initiating Officer is the immediate boss who writes your annual report. The US forces call this person the Rater; the British and Commonwealth forces call them the Reporting Officer. In civilian life, it's your manager and the yearly appraisal. Every system has one. And every married man has one more.
Not in uniform? The concept holds exactly.
In civilian life your first IO simply wears a different name: your boss, your reporting manager, the annual appraisal; in business, your board, your investors, your biggest client. They assess your work, and every few years they change, or you do. But the Permanent IO at home changes for no one: soldier, salaried or self-employed.
The uniform is optional. The three IOs are not.
Why this book
Most men spend their best years mastering the first IO and neglecting the second, until the years have passed. This book is about the one who was watching all along: the appraisal that actually decides your life is the one happening quietly at home, in the small moments no form ever records. It began in the Air Force, but it belongs to every married man.
Your story belongs in this book
I'm writing this book from real experience and years of watching, and from the honest words of husbands like you.
Wives and partners are welcome too. The Permanent IO has her own side of the story, and there's a short section just for her.
Answer a few questions (about ten minutes, confidential), and you'll help shape it.
"The quality of your life depends on whether your Permanent IO feels heard." — PARAMJIT SINGH, THE PERMANENT IO
Paramjit Singh
Paramjit served 34 years in the Indian Air Force, where he learnt early that every officer must keep his IO happy. Over the same years, he has been assessed many thousands of times by the IO who never transfers. This book is what he learnt from both, and from the honest words of husbands and wives like you.
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